For far too long, I believed I was the only educator who struggled, consumed by challenges unique to me and my professional and sometimes, personal circumstances.
As a first-year teacher, a new principal, or pre-, during, and someday, post-pandemic, this feeling of helplessness was at-times, all-consuming. My stress surfaced in my body, usually manifesting itself in the form of a full-body strain or ache. It only subsided (temporarily) when, I applied self-care, which I viewed as "giving in". Any teacher or administrator can tell you how difficult embracing wellness can be. After all, educators, by our nature, put the care of others first, before ourselves. We see self-care as a sign of weakness, instead of strength.
It's not. And none of us is alone. Not in challenges we face, nor in our solutions we pursue.
Don't go it alone. No matter what you think, everyone struggles sometimes. Others are right there, by your side.
This week, this tweet by Jennifer Gonzalez reminded me of this. Judging by the responses and comments, it's obvious it got the attention of many others, making quite an impression.
An educator who chooses isolation today will never be better, for others. The mounting dissatisfaction will snowball, professionally and personally. Not taking action perpetuates the sense of isolation. Eventually, this may not only impact you, but also your school community, your colleagues, and, your students. Choosing action and self-advocacy is a positive first step. Not sure where to begin? Keep reading. I've been there, both as someone who's needed and has given help. There's hope. Here's what's worked for me.
Leaders Can:
Focus on being helpful, removing, navigating, and avoiding obstacles.
Often, those feeling entangled in circumstances have difficulty seeing a way out.
Skilled and thoughtful leaders, however, can. Being forgiving of internally set deadlines, avoiding sending emails when we can talk face-to-face, and expressing gratitude for "the little things" are three ways leaders can help. Doing this consistently, over time, will build trust and foster resilience, not only in individuals but also, within the culture's organization.
Parents Can:
Give the benefit of the doubt, being mindful of our shared interest: their child/our student.
Teachers care about "their kids", not entirely unlike parents, who love their children.
This year in particular has been a remarkable display of gratitude from parents, towards our team of teachers and paraprofessionals. As a parent myself, I remind myself often, that teachers are human, with lives in and out of school. They care, not only about students' health and wellness, but also about the habits they're building towards being strong learners. Looking for a way to lift a teacher up? Send that quick email or card, expressing your appreciation. As Principal, I am in receipt of these often, and whenever I get them, I forward these messages to the people who truly deserve them: our teachers and paraprofessionals who are serving our students.
Colleagues Can:
Be an accountability partner.
My best times as either a teacher or administrator have been those where someone suspected or noticed I was struggling, and they picked me up. In turn, this action has encouraged me to do this for others, whether or not they seem to need it. Empathy breeds empathy. We make it a priority when we model it for our staff, our parents, and our students. By investing in one another, we stay accountable to that investment in empathy, resilience, and progress.
Whether a school leader, parent, or colleague, when we commit to small gestures, we invest in each other. This benefits us, our students, and school communities. So don't go it alone.
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The purpose of this post is to help, not to offer medical or mental health expertise or advice. I am not a licensed or trained mental health professional. If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the National Suicide Lifeline Network is available 24/7 across the United States at 1-800-273-8255.
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