If I was was given the chance, I’d personally apologize to Andre Agassi.
Growing up watching him on tv, I judged.
The hair. The flashy outfits. The attitude.
Sure, his tennis play was second to none.
And his ego and attitude were overwhelming and off-putting, and at times, nauseating.
Honestly, as amazing a tennis player as he was, I couldn’t stand him.
Three decades later, he I have both "grown up". We have more in common than I realize.
Realizing Andre Agassi is only four years my senior, I thought, while I was at sixth grade recess playing kickball, he was being ruthlessly berated by his father or forcibly attending a faraway tennis school or playing in tournaments across the globe.
While I was playing little league, Andre Agassi was becoming the best tennis player the world had ever seen.
And, while he’s rarely admitted it publicly, he was learning to hate tennis.
Reading Open, his autobiography, was a recommendation from one of the amazing podcasts I listen to, landing Open at the top of my summer reading list.
Not only did reading Open reveal my appreciation for Agassi, it taught me more about the game of tennis, and it reminded me of the importance of learning people’s stories.
As a longtime school teacher turned principal, I'm reminded how often I meet kids “like Andre”. Learning that "behavior is communication" has resulted in my deep appreciation for kids who learn differently and who express themselves in unique ways.
We know these kids. Too often, first we adults pass judgment, make assumptions, and jump to conclusions. Then, only sometimes, we learn their stories, joining them on their journeys in the process. Kids should never have to "prove themselves" to adults. Prioritizing getting to know kids, learning their stories, should always be the first stop on our journey together.
So, Mr. Agassi, I’m sorry.
And thank you for teaching me some important lessons about life.
• Lesson 1:
“I’m in your corner, always in your corner.”
Andre had a father, coaches, and even opponents who shaped his future. Some, he appreciated; others frustrated him, as they challenged him to grow.
Andre needed both in his life.
If you’re the adult in the relationship, be there for “that kid”, in the way he (not you) needs.
He may need you more than you know or he will ever know. And he may ask for help in the most unique ways. Be willing to be in his corner and stay there. And remind him you’re there, and aren’t going anywhere, no matter how hard he pushes.
• Lesson 2:
“Older people make this mistake all the time with younger people, treating them as a finished product when in fact they are in process.”
The role that numbers and data played an integral role in Andre’s life and career.
World rankings. The speed of his serve, tactics and strategy employed by his opponents, and how he'd respond. As numbers, crucial to his pursuit of excellence, took center stage, Andre seemed to get lost. As numbers defined success or failure, value for progress was all but nonexistent. He was not measuring himself as much as he was measured against his competition. Fortunately, Andre was surrounded by those celebrating his progress.
The role that metrics play in determining success is important, indisputable. However, why not consider any and all aspects of improvement? While data may be used to mark progress, using it to evaluate towards a “final product” is short-sighted. And measuring against others versus measuring against self-progress can be counterproductive.
• Lesson 3:
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
Maybe it’s human nature, but there’s much to lose when we make assumptions based on limited information, biases, or both. But knowing this, being aware of this is half the battle. Since it’s within our control, however, we can do something about this, to prevent passing superficial judgment.
“Control what you can control.” - Andre Agassi, Open
Thank you for the tennis lessons, Mr. Agassi. And thank you for the life lessons as well.
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