This is part one of a ten-part blog series, based on the book, Atomic Habits by James Clear.
Are you an adult who knows, supports, or serves adolescents? If so, you've likely found yourself wondering, when will "this kid" reach "this goal"? Stop right there. Shifting the adult mindset from "goals" towards "habits" makes all the difference. This support the success of adolescents. Better yet, it will play to their strengths in a unique developmental phase. Unfortunately, when we adults get stuck on "goals", we actually stall progress.
“Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.”
Why do we adults "get stuck" on this idea of adolescents achieving goals?
We apply our adult worldview to the lives of adolescents.
We forget (or choose to ignore) adolescent brain development.
We grow impatient, neglecting the importance of incremental progress.
We are distracted by our goals, and don't pay enough attention to our systems.
Here's how to shift adult thinking from "goals" to "habits":
Step 1: Learn about adolescent development.
Humans, from the age of 10 to 14 are fascinating beings. They're experiencing complex physical, mental, social, emotional, and behavioral changes at varied rates. Most interesting to consider, perhaps, is adolescent brain development. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for self-control, problem-solving, making long-term plans, and judging risks, is still developing through adolescence. Learning about the prefrontal cortex will deepen adults' understanding of how a focus on building habits is a better approach than setting goals.
Step 2: Co-construct systems that are adolescent-centered.
By the end of eighth grade, most adolescents can explain how atoms are building blocks of molecules. The essence of Atomic Habits. The mistakes we make as adults is "getting stuck" on changes based on outcomes or process, and neglecting the value of identity-based habits. This is a time of characterized by identity formation and the quest for independence, making adolescence an optimal period to co-construct systems. Far too often, we are impatient and make the mistake of doing this, of telling how this is done or by telling adolescents what works for us as adults. When a trusted adult invests in co-constructing a system, we model that we value listening to the adolescent perspective.
Step 3: Celebrate incremental progress.
What if we helped adolescents expand thinking on their view of themselves? What if we instilled a value for getting a little bit better each and every day? And what if this became part of their identity, to cast a vote every day, for the person they're setting out to become? We can, by modeling patience and celebrating small changes, along a trajectory of self-improvement. Let's make this investment, and not only will adolescents we serve reap the benefits in middle school, they will remember the trusted adult who helped develop a lifelong habit, at a most challenging and fascinating developmental period, adolescence.